Unpacking Loss: How Biblical Stories Can Help Us Navigate Grief and Transition

Life's losses remove layers of our false self, leaving a void that must be filled with something new. Ineffective methods, such as excessive substance use or poor shopping habits, can often do more harm than good. Let's delve into a Biblical story about loss and how unresolved wounds led to a difficult beginning of a "new life". Perhaps we can learn a thing or two about handling losses in life.

Today I would like to encourage you to read a story of Noah (Genesis 9:20-28). This story involves Noah's exposure after becoming drunk. I was puzzled by why Noah, a righteous man who walked with God (Genesis 6:9 and Hebrews 11:7-9), would allow himself to get drunk. I conducted thorough research, reading all available Christian and some rabbinic commentaries on the text, but I remained unsatisfied. It seemed that a significant part of the narrative was missing from everything I found. 

The Bible does not provide details about the time between the flood and Noah's drunkenness, but we can empathize with Noah by imagining ourselves in his situation. 

If a catastrophe wiped out everything except you and your family, what would you have lost? Would you miss things like beautifully decorated towns during Christmas and New Year’s? Would you yearn for the Internet or TV series, songs on the radio, or chatting with your neighbors? After some time, would you long for driving a car or riding a bus or train? What about food? Would you miss dining at your favorite restaurant or attending an opera? Perhaps you would miss traveling, as roads now lead to completely destroyed areas. Would it be devastating to see the splendor and beauty of various places in ruins after the flood? Do you get the picture? Everything that Noah and his family knew, the way they lived, the people they knew… was gone. 

Indeed, it was far beyond just a material loss. It represented a loss of identity for Noah and his family, as their entire history was wiped away by the flood. They lost their heritage, history, and culture—elements that shape a person's identity. Only those who have experienced immense, destructive losses through war can start to comprehend what happened to Noah. 

What did Noah do after some time, seeing a chance for a new beginning? God was initiating something new in Noah's life, but his wounds remained unhealed, so he chose to ease his sorrow by planting a vineyard. His downfall wasn't merely getting drunk; it began much earlier. He probably intended to cultivate a vineyard to distract himself from his wounds and find enjoyment. However, its fruit neither satisfied his profound desires nor healed his soul; instead, it brought him and his family disgrace, robbing him of his true identity. 

Did something like that happen to you too? Unhealed wounds in life often get filled with other things unless we find nourishment and healing. The truth is that we all possess unhealed wounds, which have left a void in our hearts; when this void is filled with negative influences, it can damage our self-esteem.

Despite God's destruction of the entire evil world at that time, a portion of the 'evil world' remained within Noah and his descendants, evident in a victim mentality, a lack of accountability for disobedience, and behaviors such as mocking and cursing.

Like Noah, we too are often seeking comfort in entertaining sources, auch as alcohol, drugs, pornography, or immoral actions. Even seemingly 'good things' can be misused, such as excessive shopping, exercising, overeating, or an obsession with physical appearance. Anything that replaces God in our lives to provide comfort and nourish our soul ultimately ends up controlling us.

Let us welcome the Holy Spirit to explore our hearts for unresolved wounds that, in times of loss, were temporarily covered by things that neither heal nor nourish our souls. May this be a chance to draw nearer to Jesus by allowing Holy Spirit to reveal secrets of our hearts. Let us permit Him to reshape and reform our false sense of self and reveal our true self. 

Jesus wishes to reveal His love and goodness to us in a fresh and personal manner. While you ponder on some Bible verse today, ask Jesus to reveal His love for you in a new way.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” - Psalm 34:8