How to be helpful when dealing with burnout

Two years ago I had transformative experience with one family living on streets of Tuzla. I was moved to help this family because of three small children that were begging with parents. However, the more I helped, it became more difficult to help them get out of the poverty. 

Now, you need to know, while reading this story, that I have over two decades of experience of being helpful in children homes, special needs school, helping refugees and migrants, cooperating with social service, pioneering educational programs free of charge… I have had both good and disappointing experiences with helping people.

About two years ago unimportant disappointment was the last drop that made my cup run over. I decided to test the family I was trying to help. As son as I would do something for this family, they would ask for another thing. EACH TIME I would give something to them, they would ask for the next thing and the next... The end result of the test was: I failed to help them get out of the begging cycle. My heart sank. Children in this family, unless a miracle happens, will learn and adopt a lifestyle of their parents.

Finally I quit trying to make a difference. For some reason, this experience was transformative for one of us, and it was not transformative experience for the parents that I was inspired to help. I made a decision that day not to make any more efforts to make a difference in a life of a person that is a beggar.

Something shifted in my heart

Two months ago I was rushing to get to church on time. My car was bombarded by bird poop, so I had to go to a car wash first. While exiting the car wash, I heard a loud noise, but I could not determine the source. As I was parking on a church parking lot, I saw a beggar approaching my car. I knew he was a local Roma person pretending to be a Palestinian migrant in order to get more sympathy when begging for money. I was praying that he does not annoy me more than I was already annoyed. I was not going to give him anything.

Instead of begging for money, he did the right thing at the right time. He told that my tire was flat. His unexpected effort to be helpful in spite of my annoyed appearance made the difference. I’ve made a commitment to myself that day. The next time I see this man begging for money, I won’t avoid him. I’ll make an effort to show him gratitude. It was a random, unimportant experience, but something shifted in my heart, that day. 

Beginning of something new

Since I was not caring well for my own soul in the process of helping people, overtime I lost desire to be helpful. I got burnout I am still recovering from it. I take it easy nowadays. Unless help is urgent, most of the time when I am asked to help someone, I restrain myself from rush decisions, and I take time to think and advise with someone how to be helpful.

Nowadays, when I pray for someone I often get inspired to create art for the person I am praying for. It might not be the help they want or appreciate, but I trust that one that inspired me to create it will also use it to bless the recipient in some way. Answers to prayers often come in unexpected packages, for those that have eyes to see.

Calla Lily is a symbol of resurrection. Photo taken in Highdown Gardens, England.

Being at the right place at the right time doing the right thing

To go back to the story of the helpful trickster, when the car problem was fixed, something began to heal in my heart. I was motivated to seek Jesus to give me grace to be at the right place, at the right time, inspired to do the right thing. As I was praying, I was reminded of Bible verses in Ecclesiastes 3. I knew contemplating Word of God on the topic of times and seasons will plant some new seeds in my heart. 

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up….” Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

I knew that this explorative prayer would lead me to another journey with Jesus. I would have to be willing to unfreeze some old memories, emotions and beliefs. I would need to allow water (Word of God) to wash over my heart and cleanse me again. I would need to be revived and refreshed. 

If you are seeking the same grace, contemplate with me verses from Ecclesiastes 3 and write your thoughts on the topic in your prayer journal. This act of faith will plant new seeds in your heart too. From that place a well of inspiration will start to flow eventually. This journey leads to deep waters of cleansing, reviving and inspiring. 

If one beggar can be at the right place at the right time saying the right thing, and in the process make a difference in a life of a random person, when inspired to help, why shouldn’t we be able to do the same? 

I can hear a reader suffering from burnout asking: “Why does it matter to make a difference?”, “Why bother?” I pray that you too experience stranger’s kindness that will restore your faith and hope in an ability to make a loving difference in someone’s life. I pray that you are inspired to be helpful again and that you find new joy in the process. 

Let me pray for you:

Father, I pray for a reader that lost faith that can make a loving difference. May you do the same thing for this person, like you did for me. Please move stranger’s heart to be helpful to the reader in his/her time of need. May this act of kindness restore hope and faith that helping people is a worthy effort that leaves a better world for his/her children. May this person be recharged and refilled with joy. Please bring healing and fill reader’s heart with your love. In Jesus name I pray.